Meat-eater: The Most Popular Eater Around
A reader writes:
Dear Mord,
Is it possible to make friends with salad? I’ve heard rumors that it isn’t. Is this true? If so, I’m depressed. You see, I’m a vegetarian—and a shy one at that. How will I ever make friends?
Sincerely,
Good Old Green Between The Teef
That Old Time Lunchbox Smell
THIS MORNING, AS I flattened a spoon of peanut butter onto a soft slice of wheat bread, smothered on some grape jam, and snapped the plastic container over my sandwich, thereby securing its ideal, cubic shape until lunch time, I caught a whiff of something dangerous: nostalgia.
Peaches And Cream: Cleanly, Devoid Of Copulation, Puritanical Even
Not Sexual
OH NO. THIS post is going to get erotic in less time than it takes for TV’s Blanche Devereaux to woo a near-geriatric gentleman’s pants off. And it’s not my fault! It’s the R&B group 112′s fault, and the kooky, erotic scream-star Peaches’ fault.
Google's Fave Peach
You see, these musical acts have taken peaches dolloped with cream and have elevated them to the level of Nasty. Dirty. Sexual! Maybe this fruity combo was at this level of nast before these musicians branded them with the stank of sex. Probably. Unfortunately the Internet is little help in solving this mystery. A Google search of the question “Why are peaches sexual?” returns hundreds of pages devoted to Peaches, the camel-toed songstress, and nothing about my query.
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